OK, I admit it. I’ve discovered I have a pathetic need for praise. But I didn’t have it before writing a book so why now? I’ve made many hundreds of pots, and painted hundreds of pictures, but always took whatever came in the way of praise or criticism without it going to my head or plunging me in despair. Luke-warm responses didn’t faze me and compliments - whilst welcome - didn’t expose how vulnerable I am to flattery. I took them at face value, relying on my own judgements which were often harsher, and retained a semblance of perspective.
But somehow it’s all different with a book, so could another writer tell me what’s going on? Is it because a book exposes a writer’s inner psyche more brutally, or is it because I am a self-published newbie who will forever hanker after a ‘proper’ publisher to validate my writing skills.
Having said that, people are astonishingly courteous and any criticism is gently veiled, as if to spare my feelings. This is greatly appreciated, but the language of oblique criticism is opaque and I’m starting to grasp the nuances – interesting becomes a loaded word, dark and quirky become suspect.
Or maybe I’m simply being hypersensitive, nervous about my forthcoming ‘Meet the Author’ event at my local library. Plus I haven’t had a formal book review yet. If I do get one, and it proves damning, I’ll remind myself that any publicity is welcome and be grateful for the plug.
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